Dear You.

Dear you,

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me love myself even more. I would never succeed it without you.

After all this time I realized, I was such a hypocrite. I used to tell myself "it's okay Siska, you can do it alone, you don't need anyone, it will waste your time, money and you will be suffering because of the drama and shits. Just focus on your study, you can do it alone".

I realized I was wrong. I was so wrong all the time. I didn't know I need you in my life. Now I can feel it again, this kind of feeling...this beautiful feeling that I can't even describe it in words. I feel like there's someone who take care of me mentally, who make me feel like being watched, being supported, who give me some attention that I need, and those physical contacts; hugs, kisses, hands holding, head patting...I never thought I need it. It makes me feel so alive.

You never knew you need company until you're really companied. And after that person is gone, you can't be as fine as when you were being uncompanied.

It hits me hard and it terrifies me because somehow it is true. And i'm not ready for it. I will never be ready.

And the real questions are: What will happen to us? Will you be tired of me? Will I be tired of you? How long we can stay togerher?

Who will leave us first? 

Only GOD knows.